I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
There r osticjed everywhere
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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