Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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