i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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