Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
