ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
