Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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