she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
