i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
