what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
