I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
