i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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