what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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