I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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