He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize