does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
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