I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
