break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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