the condom got lost in my hair
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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