Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
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U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
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The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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