sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
