that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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