It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
