We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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