so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize