I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
