You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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