just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Randomize