There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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