This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
