super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
