She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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