Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
