Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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