he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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