All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
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YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
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Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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