I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
