So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
