so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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