Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
