The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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