he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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