Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
