Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
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