where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
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I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
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do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November