Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.