Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.