i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
