3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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