And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
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Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
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Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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