We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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