Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
