i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
