Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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