I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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