I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Holy shit dude........stairs
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize