she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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