I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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