whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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