dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
