just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
