Where is the hickey?
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
