i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
you had me at cake vodka
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
