I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
