I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
This is the high leading the old right now
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
