You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
